2008-Year in Review

Can't quite believe 2008 is over! While most people bitch about what a sucky year they had (and it seems that way for many this year), I have to say 2008 was a great year for me. I accomplished a lot this year, made some great new friends and yes, I'm going out to party tonight instead of staying in like a lame-ass! I'm tired of low-key NYE celebrations, this year I'm gonna party.

So let's see...I'm gonna list some of my favorite moments, accomplishments, and people from 2008.


Accomplishments of '08-

1) Creating my TV show and podcast site. RedLightDistrictChicago. I'd been talking about this idea for some time, but it wasn't until the dang Elliot Spitzer scandal broke that I was able to get some of my comrades to put my idea into action. Since then, it's taken off. The show airs on local cable access as well and we've gotten a lot of positive response from people who've seen it. It's a bit of work with no financial reward, but it's been a great project for me that I can only hope gets bigger and better.

2) Helping organize and presenting at the Desiree Alliance conference. It was a little chaotic at times, but such a reward in the end when I got to meet all sorts of sex workers from all over the country here in Chicago. It was my first conference, but I had a big hand in organizing and heading up the Media Team for it. I had no idea what I was doing at first, but I pulled it off and was rewarded with a really moving experience in the end. My only regret is not attracting more sex workers from the area to attend, but I understand things like this come with time.

3) Organizing locally with SWOP-Chicago. For years I had no local community of sex workers to support me or even talk to. Since I've been involved with organizing locally over the past few years, I not only have that community, but have become a leader, something I never saw myself as. It's been a frustrating, but rewarding experience, and I can only hope to build upon what we have now (which is somewhat small compared to the size of our city).

People who Inspired Me in 2008-

1) KittenInfinite- Such an amazing person, who I met several years ago, but have been organizing with locally over the past two. She not only has been my "partner-in-crime" for RedLightDistrict, but but really helped guide me into a leadership position as a sex worker rights activist. She inspires and educates me every time I see her. Not only do I miss having her around locally, but I know on a national scale, her work as an organizer is missed.

2) Robyn Few- I had heard stories about Robyn from various activists, but I wasn't quite prepared for what a firecracker of a woman she was when I met her this summer at Desiree. From Day 1, I was blown away by her passion for sex worker rights and her desire to challenge the establishment and fuck shit up. She is our Harvey Milk. One of my favorite moments was just a few weeks back in DC while driving in the car with Robyn she was saying, "I'm gonna do whatever the fuck I want to do." And that, really, is all I've ever aspired for since I was a kid.

3) Scarlot Harlot- I'd read her book, interviewed her, and read all about her activism, but I'd never actual met her in person until this summer. The "mother" of the sex worker rights movement is humble about her achievements and is always pushing to expand this movement in new ways. It's Scarlot that pushes for diversity in a mostly white middle-class movement, it's Scarlot that does all the technical stuff to make sure the microphones are working or the event is being videotaped, and it's Scarlot that puts her face out there and goes on TV to do the interviews (Bill O' Reilly? That's no easy task.) She's always there, always active, and always on top of the game.

Favorite Moments of 2008-

1) March- Filming first episode of RedLight. We had no idea what we were in for when we decided to take to the streets last March and ask people on the street to answer our questions about the Elliot Spitzer scandal. Surprisingly, people were more than willing to share their opinions about the former NY governor and whether they thought he was right or wrong in what he did. All of a sudden, we realized we were on to something here...

2) July- Desiree Alliance Conference. After all the planning and organizing, it was such a treat to finally meet all the amazing sex worker activists I'd been working with and hearing about. Over the three days, there were some high and low points, but I think most of us who attended left with a better sense of community and a desire to do more on a local level.

3)November- Obama Rally. I hadn't originally planned to go, but after seeing the huge crowd on TV and with such perfect weather, I had to go to Grant Park and take place in the celebration. The election was called shortly before I got there, and by the time I exited the train, people were celebrating in the streets. Tons of people were crowded into downtown Chicago, and everybody was ecstatic. It was, for a lack of better words, a magical night. And then G-Rod had to come along and ruin everything...

4) December- National March For Sex Worker Rights. I remember Robyn talking in July about how she wanted to do a "Million Whore March" in Washington DC and laughing hysterically at the idea. While the name and number of people were modified a bit, we still made it happen! It was a positive way to commemorate a day when we remember our sex worker sisters and brothers who've been victims of violence and show people there's a larger community out there, willing to show our faces in public and let our voices be heard. I was also thrilled to reconnect with a lot of the people I met at Desiree in July and do some sightseeing and partying in DC. A great way to cap out a very productive year.

So yes, I have no complaints about 2008. I can only hope 2009 is even better.

National March For Sex Workers Rights Video

Here's my video of the National March For Sex Workers Rights in Washington DC. This includes most of the speeches and various March footage. A little shaky at times, but hey, whadda you expect? I didn't have a stedicam.

National March For Sex Workers Rights in DC

Earlier this week I headed to Washington DC for the first ever National March for Sex Workers Rights, held on December 17, the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. I remember this summer at the Desiree Conference when Robyn Few brought up the idea of this march, wanting to call it the "Million Whore March," which was so hilarious to me at the time. Making this actually happen was just the icing on the cake. We need events like this to really strengthen our movement and gain publicity, no matter how many people show up.

I showed up on DC on Tuesday, coming from freezing cold and snow in Chicago to pouring rain in DC and headed straight to Different Avenues, where we had our sign-making party. I was thrilled to see some of the people I'd met this summer at Desiree, as well as some new faces. We had some logistical issues with the signs including a few misspellings, tape/glue/paint/ transportation issues, but they turned out OK. Some of the messages included "Stop Shaming us to Death", "My Ass is Mine", "Sex Work is Real Work", and my own personal creation, "Stop Wasting Taxpayer Money Arresting Prostitutes". There were warnings that we would be facing some serious rain/sleet the next day, but we had plenty of red umbrellas to carry to shield the signs.



Turns out those warnings never came to light. The weather was cool and balmy, a nice fall day for me, but others were complaining of the cold. Babies! It was fantastic weather, in my opinion. We loaded up the car with signs and headed to Franklin Square, where we were mat with sex workers from all over the country who come in to DC to be a part of this. The press was there, too, including The Washington Post and Newsweek. Introductions were made and some leaders in our movement made speeches, including Stacey Swimme, Robyn Few, Scarlot Harlot, and Sharmus Outlaw. Robyn then led the procession down the streets to the Department of Justice. It was pretty interesting watching the looks on people's faces as we marched, wondering why a throng of sex workers would be having a protest in the middle of December. One guy standing at a streetcorner muttered "yeah right, just give me a blowjob" to his snickering friend. Still, it was a peaceful stroll and once at the DOJ, people from the crowd were able to take the mic and speak about their own personal stories of violence on the job or friends of theirs who had become victims of violence while working in the sex industry. The most bizarre of these confessions was from a client who announced that "he's been going to sex workers for about fifteen years...I've never abused anyone or raised my hand to a woman." He then rambled on about one lady he saw "whose assive was massive", but gave him "the greatest orgasm I've ever had." Look, it's nice to know that clients support our cause, but perhaps they should keep their mouths shut. Or at least know when to stop talking!

Next everyone laid on the ground for a "die-in" while Lia from Starlight Ministries read the names of all the sex workers all over the world who had been killed this year. A police officer approached Robyn at one point asking if "she would like to be arrested", but later recanted and said he really didn't feel like arresting her after all. So everything went pretty smoothly and I think it was a positive experience for everyone involved. I've posted some still photos up here and am working on getting a video up that includes excerpts from a lot of the speeches that were given (there is a shorter on at BoundNotGagged up now).

Of course there was also lots of partying and shenanigans that you can expect from a group of sex workers getting together in one city...Robyn smoking a joint in front of the FBI building, drunken debauchery, and getting lost numerous times on the streets on DC. I even did some sightseeing the next day, hitting the White House, National Monument, and a few of the Smithsonian museums. I love, love, love DC! The architecture is amazing, the nightlife is fun, but I wish the damn Metro trains went out to the airport. My return flight on Thursday got cancelled because of snow in Chicago, so I stayed an extra night and partied some more. I could have stayed another week. Love it, gotta go back soon.


So yes, the March was a success and I was so happy to finally socialize with some of the people that I missed this summer in the craziness of Desiree. If we make this a yearly thing, hell maybe someday we could have a "million whore march"!

Two Words I Don't Have to Hear

With the economy in the shitter and getting worse everyday, it's hard NOT to know somebody who hasn't been affected by the depression that's hit our country. My best friend lost his job several months back and continues to collect unemployment while his job searches yield no results. Earlier this week, the man I was dating informed me that he's losing his job at the end of the year, leaving him unemployed for the first time in his working life. While all his moaning about company layoffs in other industries in the weeks prior had begun to grate on my nerves more than a little bit, I felt a bit of schadenfreude when he actually got the pink slip himself. Perhaps he can now go commiserate with all the poor people he'd been whining about.

Nevertheless, it got me thinking about what one of the things I really love about being a sex worker, or at least an independent one at that. I never have to hear the words "you're fired." Sure , there's been lots of talk about the sex industry being "recession-proof" and while that's debatable depending on whom you talk to and what they do, our business certainly never collapses completely. While business may slow down at times, it's still there, and being my own boss means I reap 100% of my profits. I learned a long time ago to live very frugally, especially when times are tough, but I managed to live through the post-9/11 meltdown and I can live through this. While I've never been a high volume provider, surprisingly, I haven't seen a huge drop-off of business. I provide an ultimate stress-relief for men and in tough times like these, men are willing to spend a little extra to get just that.

I guess what makes me smile inside a little bit here is that all these people who put down sex workers on a daily basis, say what we do is wrong, call us names, and commit acts of violence against us are now going down. Some of them may even be thinking sex work is a viable option for them. Meanwhile, us independent whores keep chugging along, in control of our own lives, not living in fear of being given the boot by some meaningless job we couldn't stand anyway. Yes I realize that most of us will never have the luxury of getting unemployment benefits, but that's what great about being a sex worker and working for yourself. You're never really unemployed.

So yeah, while we may not be getting laid as often as we like, at least we're not getting laid off.

The Return of Porn Review Friday! Pirates II- Stagnetti's Revenge

It is perhaps the most anticipate porn sequel in the history of porn, Pirates II- Stagnetti's Revenge, came out this fall to a fanfare of publicity. It's the follow-up to the most successful porn DVD in history, Pirates, released in 2005 by Digital Playground. For those of you not in the know, Pirates, was the "Titanic" of all porn films, a huge-budget, special-effects laden full length release that raked in huge money and showed people that porn DVD's were not yet a dead format. The film had an actual story-line, elaborate costumes, makeup, and sets, and featured some of the tops stars in porn including Jesse Jane, Janine, and Evan Stone. The film ended up raking in 11 trophies at the next year's AVN Awards show, the most any other film had won in the show's history. It also became the first porn film to be re-edited and released in a R-rated version available in Blockbuster stores nationwide. In other words...it was a big deal.

Stagnetti's Revenge begins where the last Pirates left off, with Captain Edward Reynolds (Evan Stone) bragging about his defeat over Victor Stagnetti (Tommy Gunn) to his loyal assistant. He's assembled a new crew of ladies on his ship, including Ai Chow (Shay Jordan) and Olivia, Serena's (Janine) cousin, played by Belladonna. Returning is his first mate Jules (Jesse Jane) and the always entertaining Marco (Steven St, Croix). Olivia informs the crew that the governor of Jamaica has issued a warrant for Serena's arrest and Olivia is on board to protect the crew from any hostile forces and to convince Edward and Jules to ask for Serena's pardon.

When the crew finally does get to Jamaica and ask Governor William Henry Littleton to pardon Serena, he seems more enamored with Jules and he low-cut top than with Edward's pleas. They convince the governor that Serena is pardon-worthy as she helped kill the evil pirate Victor Stagnetti, but he send them on a mission to kill a new set of pirates, find a treasure, and only then will he issue a pardon to Serena.

In the meantime, there's plenty of highjinks going on behind the scenes, with Ai getting a double dose of two of the ship's crew members (James Deen and Mick Blue) while a character named Devil Dick Willie goes looking for gold, but finds something much better instead in the form of the Governor's two daughters, played by Shawna Lenee and Riley Steele (in her first scene ever).

Olivia and Jules get off to a rocky start to their friendship, but eventually Olivia takes Jules to task in a smokin' girl-girl scene, that rivals Janine and Jesse Jane's scene from the first Pirates. Whereas most girl/girl scenes can be boring and drag on, this is rough-and-tumble, with lots of hot chemistry between Belladonna and Jesse. At one point, Bella's Olivia asks, "am I better fuck than Serena?" and most people would agree that she is. It's Belladonna, after all.

Later, Edward comes across the Argentinean gold king during a female slave auction and is invited to participate in an orgy featuring Belly Dancers and slave girls, all providing a soundtrack of high-pitched fakey girl groans and "oh yeahs". Girls doing girls, boys doing girls, and even some masturbation occur during this confusing, but very active scene. Hot, it's not, but it seems almost mandatory in a production of this size. Snore...

Meanwhile, Jules is captured by the Chinese pirate princess Xifeng (Katsuni) and given some sort of poison that causes her to come on to Edward, allowing him to be captured by the Chinese pirate princess as well. In a bizarre sequence, Edward is forced to fight some sort of dragon creature in a pit, but is saved at last minute by Olivia, who kills the creature off, saving him.

Victor Stagnetti, who was killed off in the first Pirates, then is reborn from the sea, where he and Xifeng force Jules into sexual servitude, and she happily obliges by devouring his cock while he fingers her ass. Olivia then intervenes and fights Xifeng in a sword fight and takes her down, but it's not over! She must fight the poisoned Jules as well, until Stagnetti intervenes and takes both of them down. Once again, Edward comes to the rescue and succeeds, reclaiming his title of "the greatest pirate hunter that ever lived."

Lovely. But wasn't that almost the same plot as the first Pirates? Give or take a few changes, there's not much new territory here. Skeleton sword fights, ghost ships, and another victory for Captain Edward Reynolds seems very similar to the first release, but hey, I'm not supposed to complain about the plot, am I? While I enjoyed the fact that the sex scenes are short and to the point, instead of long and boring, once again Jesse Jane dominates most of the sex scenes here. The costumes, makeup, and special effects are once again top-notch, but I had a strange feeling I'd seen it all before, and sure enough, will see it again. Stagnetti goes mysteriously missing at the end, leading up to yet another Pirates sequel, which is already in the works.

If you are a fan of the first Pirates, you'll surely like Stagnetti's Revenge, but don't expect much new territory here. It's still a nice set, with three extra discs, including extended sex scenes, a detailed behind-the-scenes documentary, and tons of interviews with the performers. If you're looking for the hottest thing in porn right now, this is it.

You can get Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge here.

Vices: Head to Head

What's worse? Drinking, gambling, smoking, overeating, or using the services of prostitutes...

Had to give a shout-out to this article by Naughty Reviews.

Firing Clients

Oftentimes providers will have to "fire" a client that they may have been seeing on a regular basis and though the reasons may vary, it's usually not because the client was violent or otherwise dangerous. If you practice good screening techniques, you are usually able to weed out such clients before even seeing them or at the door. In all my time in the industry, I've never come across a physically threatening client or had my life in danger. Still, that's not to say these types of clients don't exist. Perhaps I'm just adept at figuring out who might be a problem and who won't be, but that's a skill that I've fine tuned over the years.

Rather, the clients that need to be fired usually start as an absolute dream. They are friendly, fun to hang out with, good regulars, and enjoy my company, but therein lies the problem. They want me to be their girlfriend. And I will never be that. It's great to have regulars, but when the regulars don't "get it", meaning the nature of our relationship, then things become a problem. I call my clients just that, clients, because that's what they are, not johns, boyfriends, dates, or tricks. We have a professional relationship with each other and being the pro that I am, I don't cross boundaries that I shouldn't be. I don't call their homes, show up at their door uninvited or expect anything more from them than what is agreed upon (meaning$$$). I expect them to reciprocate this behavior towards me.

I've always had a problem with working girls who end of dating or marrying their clients. It's so, so, so problematic for me and just gives other men who use the services of providers some hope that they have a chance with whatever provider they happen to develop a fancy for. In addition, it takes money out of their pockets and gives "Captain Save-a-Ho" the satisfaction of knowing he rescued just one girl from her oh-so-degrading life in the sex trade. Please. I didn't enter this business as a means to find a boyfriend or husband and I should hope that guys don't use my services as a means to either. It is, after all, an escort service, not a dating service.

Obviously it's no secret that a lot of lonely guys use the services of sex workers. One of my best regulars was a client named "Joe" that had first called me on a blizzard-like winter evening for a session. I tried to drive to his place, but the snow was coming down in heaps and the expressways were jammed with traffic trying to inch along at 5mph. I only made it halfway there and stopped at my boyfriend's house instead, terrified of getting in an accident. I cancelled the call, not expecting him to call back, but he did about a week later and I was able to see him. He was a really nice guy, intelligent, a schoolteacher, and enjoyed hanging out, talking, and drinking good beers. We hit it off really well the first time we saw each other.

He because a good regular of mine, usually calling at least once a month, sometimes more, to see me. I was generous with my time...probably too generous, and after awhile he began asking me out on dates for dinner, to the theatre, to bars, etc. I politely came up with excuses not to go. Whereas many escorts will accompany their clients on dinner dates or out of town, I almost never do this because it tends to lead the guys on and I rarely get compensated enough for it. Clearly Joe wasn't looking to compensate me for the dates he was asking me on; he was hoping our "relationship" would morph into something else. That wasn't going to happen.

You hear the term "girlfriend experience" or GFE thrown around a lot in this industry, and I've found it means different things to different people. When I ask someone to explain what a GFE is, I usually hear that it involves deep kissing, intense touching, and bareback oral. To me, the girlfriend experience I provided was a little different. I engaged these guys in conversation, hung out, and basically acted like a girlfriend would. While most of my clients appreciated the nature of the service I provided, others like Joe misconstrued it as me actually wanting to be their girlfriend, which I never led on to be the case.

I saw Joe off an on for a few years, but things started to get uncomfortable for me after awhile. He'd want me to come over and just watch movies or ask me to stay overnight, and worse yet, he'd ask me "if he owed me anything" when the time came to pay up. As nice a guy that he was, I started to feel bad a guy like him was holding out for the day that I actually said "no, you don't owe me anything" because it wasn't going to happen. He was a good looking single guy, he needed to learn to ask women out on dates and formulate relationships with them and this wasn't helping. So I decided to fire him. Problem was, I never said "you're fired."

I stopped answering Joe's phone calls well over a year ago. He calls sometimes late at night and never, ever, leaves a message. He just calls back, over and over. I figured he was smart enough to take a hint...he is a high school teacher after all. Joe still calls me, sometimes several times a week, sometimes not for a month, but he never blocks his number, just hoping I'll make a mistake and answer it on a whim. I never do. Essentially he is phone stalking me and this makes me happy I have never done incalls.

I had the same situation happen with a client I saw only a handful of times, but then continued to phone stalk me for years after I fired him. He'd call late at night from blocked or different numbers, leaving cryptic text messages or none at all. Finally he stopped, but every once in awhile, pops up to call again.

There's a few other people I've had to fire over the years and it's usually the same case...crossing boundaries. Sometimes these guys don't get that the friendly demeanor I and other escorts display is not because we like you...it's because we're doing our job.

So yes, it's sad to let a good regular go, but sometimes it's necessary. I would've hoped that Joe and guys like him would move on and try to form new relationships with women outside of the biz, but sometimes they have to learn their lessons the hard way. While I'm not anxiously awaiting Joe's next late night drunk dial attempt to reach me, I just know it's coming.